This image is a part of project 12.

Story of 3 – self-doubt

“Alright then, let’s start. I have another appointment in a few minutes,” said the Perfect One without waiting too long for a reaction on my part. “The agenda for today’s evaluation session is your efficiency. The lack of it to be absolutely precise.”

She paused again and looked at me the way a mother looks at a child trying to lie its way out of something.

“You thought you could fool everyone with your little systems, huh? Reminders, calendar blocking, writing everything down. That was clever of you. Very clever indeed and a lot of people did get absolutely fooled. Congratulations, they think you actually can handle things,“ she paused again, then twitched her eyes and in a harsher voice she continued. “But you can’t fool me. I look right through your illusions and all I see is chaos and incompetence. You can’t remember anything people tell you. You can’t put two and two together. And don’t get me started on the easiest of tasks. Tasks that you are supposed to do every day! Your mistakes are frankly silly. Not even worth my time.”

“You are a fraud! An impostor, absolutely unsuitable for the job!” the demon started to shout now and her eyes started to sparkle some weird black light. Her hair stayed perfect, thou. Then she added in a more motherly tone. “You have to get even more organized! So pull yourself together. You know it’s in your own interest. I hope you realize that I want nothing more than your happiness. All I want is you to be a normal, responsible person. A mother! And a wife and a career woman. So start acting like one and I see you next time for an evaluation of your progress.”

The healing

Project 12 is not only images. It’s also a short story. This short story is not ready yet but it will be published as a book when the time is right. If you don’t want to miss that… drop me your email.

Buy 3 – self-doubt

If you like this image, you can, of course, order it. It’s available in the following options:

Limited edition: 25 copies, 40×60 cm print on Ilford smooth pearl paper on dibond with acrylic glass and hanging frame. This edition is ready to hang on your wall.

Unlimited edition: small B5 prints on glossy paper (Ilford Crystal gloss) with a window mat.

Take a look here for the impressions of both editions.

BTS of 3 – self-doubt

Unlike the 1 – gray and rainy and 2 – surrounded I actually had to work for this image. Perhaps it was because the feeling associated with it was not that evident.

I share a lot of my process on Instagram. If you are interested, just follow me there.

The shooting was easy. Light on a stand 45 degrees above and in front of me. Black background. My dress is actually just a piece of material and curtains.

Once again the editing was harder than expected. I didn’t plan the edges right so I had no nice, sharp edges to cut the inside of the figure. I ended up with no edges and just a gradual fade. I was quite happy with the result, though.

This image got a lot of attention during the first exposition. Perhaps because of the actual magic in it or because more people can resonate with the feeling of being empty. Of being just a shell of a person.

Share your thoughts? What do think about this image?